You might be a hard-core Dune fan if...

…you petition your parents to name your new baby sister Alia.

…you threaten your rambunctious niece with life lived out in a pain amplifier.

…during a lull during a business meeting, you stand up and yell, "Hydraulic Nepotism!"

…after the death of the family pet, you want a pug, just like the royal family.

…you're standing in the corner because you called your mother a Bene Gesserit Witch.

…when asked what you want for dinner you reply, "Anything with a touch of Spice".

…you refer to a quickie before the Spice Girls Concert as a "Pre-spice blow".

…you wonder why you have regular friends instead of "Trusted Companions".

…you refer to the downtown bus as "Guild Transport".

…upon entering a gun store, you ask to see the maula pistols.

…you and your significant other enjoy saying "Hmmmm," and "Hmmuhmm," and the like.

…your password is a word or name only found in the Dune Chronicles.

 …you have actually cooked the banquet described in Dune.

…you accidentally cut your lip and tell your mate you've been sipping sapho...and he believes you.

…you play bridge using a custom-made Dune Tarot deck.

…your MIL is named Helen and you have to restrain yourself from calling her Mohiam... but that's how you think of her.

…you sprinkle cinnamon on EVERYTHING.

…you refer to the family of bats who live in the mish-mish tree in your yard as The Cielagos.

…you think The Spice Girls are named Tamalane, Bellonda, and Dortujla.

…you are CERTAIN you are a Mentat.

…you play Celtic harp music, knowing damn well it's REALLY a baliset.

…you have a Battle Language with at least (or most) one other person.

…you have a Fremkit in your car.

…you call your boss "Beast Rabban".

…you call Dr. McNelly "Sweetums".

…you have eight children, each by a different father.

…you are mad at Dad because, although he will show you the will, he refuses to discuss the location of the Family Atomics.

…your friends become violently ill after eating your impromptu sligpork casserole.

…you become convinced that Murbella killed the Honored Matre at the airstrip because she probably said, "Your Reverend Mother wears army boots".

… the embroidered towels in your bathroom read "Dar" and "Tar".

… you go to "Office Depot" and ask to see their best chairdog.

… you look for wormsign in your nephews sandbox.

… you think about changing your last name to Atreides.

… you can actually pronounce Kwisatz Haderach.

… you put your hand into hot water to see just how much pain you could tolerate.

… you keep all your moisture inside.

… you think about naming your son Paul.

… you think about freezing yourself in liquid hydrogen to wake up in a few thousand years (about 10190-10191 A.G.)

… you think about naming your dog usul.

… you've been subscribed to this newsgroup for at least two years (hehehe, no offence, Hitch, Gunnar, and others :)) )

… Friends never invite you to go to the beach because you insist on breaking the rhythm of your steps.

… When singing along on a Radiohead concert, you go: "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. You didn't want a son! You wanted a Kwisatz Haderach! We are trapped here. We are trapped here."

… Seeing your sister standing on a balcony, you have to fight down an urge to close your eyes and start preaching.

… You are pitifully humiliated in a fist-fight because you calculated on fast punches not being able to penetrate your shield.

… You never get drunk at parties, because the cinnamon makes the drinks you mix more or less undrinkable.

… Going to take a pee, you murmur: "Bless the Maker and His water. Bless the coming and going of Him..."

… you drink your own urine because you don't want to waste the water of your body. When you want to leave for work you plant a thumper in your backyard and wait for the transport to come...

… you walk around in rubber telling others it's a stillsuit.

… you attach two ironing boards to your car and (flapping rapidly) try to take off in your new orni.

… your were blue-within-blue contact lenses.

… In the evenings you walk around in some dark alleys trying to sell cinnamon to people. And you don't accept dollars... you want solaris.

… When you go to bed you first check the entire room looking for a hunter-seeker.

… you refer to lamps in your house as glowglobes.

… you've suddenly developed great respect for the earthworms.

… you call your lawyer a mentat.

… you are still looking for a girl named Chani to be your girlfriend.

… you purposely destroyed your computer because it's a thinking machine.

… your doormat says "Welcome to House --and your last name here--".

… you sign today's date as 14202 B.G.

… You refer to Earth as Terra.

… You refer to nuclear weapons as atomics.

… You curse in Chakobsa.

… The FAVORITES in your browser contain a folder named Dune.

… you have every edition of Dune Chronicles ever printed in your home library.

… you tried to purchase gom-jabbar in your local pharmacy.

… you came up with the largest number of "You Might Be a Hard-core Dune Fan If..." jokes.

… you try to write the Seventh Dune Book. At 3 am, you keep telling the desk sergeant that your new friend really is an imprinter.

… At the gym, everyone wonders why you keep referring to Gatorade as "The Water of Life".

… Every September, you religiously visit the local car dealerships asking to see the new groundcars.

… You have trouble explaining to the school psychologist that a) you are a basher and b) truly, you just wanted a little neck ride.

… You try to explain to the bouncer at "Filly's" that a true "Face Dancer" would not have complained to management.

… You are disappointed when the neat comic book you bought turns out not to be about Patrin, Miles Teg's batman, but some weird dude in a cape and tights.

… You look for genetic markers in the faces of everyone you meet.

… You become convinced that upper Management at work has been replaced by the new face dancers.

… You grab the cinnamon/mixed-spice from the kitchen pantry, brandish it and declare: "Who controls the spice controls the universe!!!" Then laugh evilly.

… You hold a large mallet over the TV-Remote control, telling your family: "The power to destroy a thing is absolute control over it."

… As a child, you cosmetically alter your Star WarsTM Figures to resemble DUNE characters. Your parents/guardians mistakenly suppose that you are pretending that the sandpit you are playing in is Tatooine.

… You're waiting for Mattel(?) to release "Bene Gesserit" Barbie

… While waiting to see the dentist, you run through the litany against fear, instead of reading the old magazines.

… While the dentist is working, you are disturbed to notice that there is no Suk tattoo on their forehead.

… You ask the dentist about poison-gas filled false teeth.

… You always breath in through your mouth and out through your nose.

… You steal grandmother's oxygen-tank hose and use it to design your own Stillsuit.

… If as a child when your parents asked you where you want to go for summer you told them Death Valley because "your afraid that if you don't visit the desert soon you'll get water sickness."

… You got beat up by the school bully for calling him a "tank brain" You tell your boss that you can't finish the project your assigned to with out more data!

… You try to press Dune on people you don't even know.

… When you hear that the deserts in Africa grow about seven feet a year you smile.

… You hate KJ Anderson.

… You flavor everything with cinnamon for that true Arrakis taste.